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Introduction
Running has been part of my life on and off for over 15 years. What started as a way to lose weight and get fit evolved into a personal challenge, one that pushed me to my limits, for better and for worse. At times, running gave me clarity, confidence, and the thrill of crossing finish lines I once thought were impossible. Other times, it became an obsession, something I used to escape my emotions rather than process them.
In this article, I’ll share my personal journey with running, from its incredible benefits for mental health to the moments when it became a source of stress. I’ll also explore what science says about running’s impact on mental well-being and offer advice on how to cultivate a balanced, healthy relationship with it.
If you’ve ever turned to running for stress relief, motivation, or even just a moment of peace, this one’s for you.
How It All Started
In 2009, I laced up my running shoes for the first time with a simple goal: lose weight, get fit and to keep up with my wife. At over 100 kilos, I started with 5K runs, gradually increasing my distance as my fitness improved.
What I didn’t expect was how much I would enjoy running alone. It became my mental escape, a time where I could put in my headphones, crank up the music of my youth, and let my mind wander. Running wasn’t just about exercise, it was about freedom.
I started setting bigger goals, testing how far and fast I could go. I had always been an all-or-nothing person, which eventually led me to burnout, but at that time, I just saw it as determination. My distances crept up, and soon, a 5K didn’t feel like enough.
The Marathon Mindset
I signed up for the Vienna Half Marathon in 2010, my first major race. Despite running with an injury, I finished it and was hooked. The race-day buzz was addictive, and I was already visualizing the next one in 2011. I kept training, pushed harder, and before long, I was signed up for my first full marathon.
That marathon was brutal. My IT (Iliotibial) band screamed in pain, but I refused to stop. Finishing wasn’t just about endurance, it was about proving something to myself. I was testing my limits, and I remember crying with both pride and pain toward the end of the race.
Later, my wife and I decided to run a “bucket list” marathon together, so we paid our way into the New York City Marathon in November 2014. The opening ceremony, the build-up, the race-day energy, it was electric. Millions of people were cheering, over 150 live bands played along the course.
It was one of the most incredible experiences of my life. Once again, though, I ran through knee pain, refusing to slow down. But this time, it wasn’t about the time, it was about savouring the once-in-a-lifetime moment and earning that all-important finisher’s medal.
After that, I felt I could maintain marathon fitness, so I kept training. Seven months later, marathon #3: the Rock and Roll Marathon in Liverpool. Another musical spectacle. I ran the course in decent shape, with only minor issues. I remember feeling like I was in the best physical condition I’d ever been.
But Marathon #4, Vienna again, in 2022 was a different story. It was a real struggle, and if it hadn’t been for painkillers, I wouldn’t have finished. I was overweight, poorly trained, stressed from work, all of which left me grinding through the course, hating most of it. I told myself “never again” after crossing the finish line, declaring it would be my last.
Looking back now, I realize that my obsession with running often coincided with difficult times in my personal and professional life. Running had become a way to cope with anxiety, stress, and uncertainty. But I wasn’t running for joy anymore, I was running away from something.
When Running Becomes Stressful
Overtraining and Burnout
There’s a fine line between using running for stress relief and using it as a crutch. For me, that line blurred when running stopped feeling fun. I ran to silence my inner critic, to compensate for weight gain, to distract myself from hard conversations.
But instead of helping, my body started breaking down in combination with my addiction to work and lack of sleep.
The Pressure to Perform
I tracked everything from pace, heart rate, distance, and felt pressure to maintain certain numbers. Even when I knew I needed a break, I pushed myself to meet the “standard” I had set. Before my last marathon, I had a meeting with a physio who told me that I wasn't built for running marathons; but I saw this as a challenge.
Unrelated in 2024, I suffered a pulmonary embolism. Lying in the hospital, I was terrified I might never be able to run again. That moment changed everything. Suddenly, running wasn’t about chasing numbers or proving something, it was about appreciating what my body could do.
The Mental Health Benefits of Running
The Science Behind the “Runner’s High”
It’s no secret that running boosts mental health. Studies show that regular aerobic exercise reduces anxiety, depression, and stress while improving mood and self-esteem.
Endorphins & Dopamine – Running triggers the release of endorphins, often called the “runner’s high,” along with dopamine, which helps regulate mood. (Source: Harvard Health)
Cortisol Regulation – Exercise helps lower cortisol (the stress hormone), making it easier to manage daily pressures. (Source: American Psychological Association)
Neuroplasticity – Running stimulates brain plasticity, helping with cognitive function and mental resilience. (Source: National Institute on Aging)
Immediate vs. Long-Term Benefits
After a run, I always felt an immediate lift in my mood. It was my reset button, a way to clear my head and regain control.
But over time, I started to notice a pattern: the more stressed I was, the more I ran. I overtrained, ignoring the signals my body was sending me. I was constantly getting sick and injured, pushing myself through pain instead of resting.
It took burnout for me to realize that running, when taken to an extreme, could be as harmful as it was helpful.
The “All or Nothing” Mentality: Why I’d Use Races to Reignite My Fire… Then Quit
How Races Got Me Going
If you’ve been a runner for any length of time, you’ve probably heard someone say, “I need to sign up for a race to get motivated.” I was that person, for years.
Whether it was a 10K, a half marathon, or even the full 42.2km of a marathon, races became more than milestones for me, they were lifelines. The looming date gave me purpose. A reason to lace up. A way to claw back structure and control when things in life or work felt overwhelming.
Race Day Highs, Post-Race Crashes
But here’s the catch: the motivation rarely lasted.
As soon as the event was over, I’d drop running. Not immediately. Sometimes there’d be a few “recovery” jogs, maybe a short run here or there. But without the pressure of the looming finish line, I’d slip back into inertia. Life would catch up. The mental clarity and focus I’d cultivated would slowly fog up again.
Why Does This Happen?
I’ve thought a lot about this pattern, sign up, train intensely, push hard, then stop, and what drives it. I think it comes down to the all-or-nothing mindset.
Here’s what I believe contributes to this cycle:
External validation > internal habit
Races offer a finish line and something to prove. But when it’s over, that drive disappears.
Overtraining as avoidance
In my lowest moments, training numbed the feelings I didn’t want to face. Without that pressure, the emotions crept back in, and I lost the motivation to run.
The burnout cycle
When you push too hard, you crash hard. After each race, I needed to “recover from” training, reinforcing the idea that consistent movement was too much to handle.
So How Do We Make Running (or Any Movement) Stick?
I don’t have all the answers, but here’s what’s helped me move toward a healthier, more sustainable relationship with running, and with myself.
Detach performance from worth
Every run doesn’t have to prove something. A short jog or walk is still valid.
Think in seasons, not sprints
Energy ebbs and flows. Not every season has to be about pushing harder.
Walking as a baseline
Walking supports my mental health and keeps me moving. It counts.
Set minimums, not maximums
Instead of aiming for 5 runs a week, I now aim for 2. Anything extra is a bonus. And if I miss a week, so be it.
Finding Balance: Running for Joy
Now, I run for how it makes me feel, not how far or fast I can go. I listen to my body. I take breaks in the winter and ease back into it when the weather warms up. I’ve stopped seeing a 5K as “pointless”, every bit of movement counts. I haven't ruled out another marathon in the near future, but this time I will listen to my body whether it makes sense or not. I want to experience a marathon with this new perspective.
Practical Tips for a Healthy Running Mindset
Set healthy limits – Running should support your mental health, not consume it.
Prioritize rest – Recovery is part of the process.
Find joy in movement – Run, walk, dance, or stretch, just move.
Ditch the numbers sometimes – Don’t let data drive your entire experience.
Use running as a tool, not a crutch – Tune in, not out.
Final Thoughts: From All or Nothing, to Always Something
Running taught me a lot, about my body, my mind, and my patterns. For a long time, it was an outlet, a coping mechanism, and sometimes a trap.
Today, I try to approach running with gentleness and self-awareness. When I fall into old habits, and I still do, I remind myself that it’s not about being perfect. It’s about showing up again. Even for a walk.
It’s not all or nothing. It’s always something.
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Let’s build a space where we move for joy, for health, and for ourselves. 💙