Season 1 Reflection and Close

Just a note before we begin. This is part three of my personal story sequence and the season one finale. Everything I share, of course, is based on my lived experience. I'm not a therapist, psychologist or doctor and nothing you hear is medical advice, diagnosis or a treatment recommendation.

Today's episode covers burnout, recovery, ongoing well-being and catching familiar patterns before they become a full breakdown. So if any of this feels activating, please take care of yourself first. And if you're struggling right now, please reach out to a doctor, therapist or crisis service in your country. You don't have to hold this alone.

Welcome to Share, Inspire, Explore, the podcast from where I'm at. This is a space for honest conversations about burnout, career change, recovery and what comes next. I'm Chris and through lived experience, real stories and expert conversations, this podcast is here to help working professionals feel less alone and understand what may be happening and explore a steadier, more honest way forward. If you've been keeping it together on the outside while something deeper has been shifting underneath, you're in the right place. Let's get into it.

Welcome back to Share, Inspire, Explore. This episode is part three of my burnout story and it's also the final episode of season one. If you've listened to the last two episodes, you'll know we've already covered a lot. You know, in part one, my descent into burnout, I talked about the long road down, you know, growing up in a tense environment in Northern Ireland.

Always learning to stay small and quiet just to keep the peace. Of course, carrying that failure narrative from school and dropping out of university twice and then channeling all that wiring into work over delivering, chasing validation, you know, burning out more than once.

And then there was part two, the surrender to my recovery where I shared the breaking point, you know, the physical and emotional collapse and my son asking, Daddy, why are you always so sad?

And the moment I finally asked for help, psychiatry, psychotherapy and later rehabilitation. So if you haven't heard those yet, you can absolutely go back and listen to them in order, or you can stay here and let this episode stand on its own as a story about what happens after burnout. Because that's what today is about, you know, not the fall, not the crisis, but the long, slow, very imperfect process of rebuilding life on different terms.

So when people hear life after burnout, it can sound like a clean before and after story. Like I burnt out, I recovered and now everything is sorted. And for me, that's not how it felt.

You know, in the beginning, it felt like my identity had been stripped back. You know, the usual coping strategies didn't work anymore. I had absolutely no idea who I was without this constant doing.

And that's really where the reset begins. You know, for me, reset wasn't this exciting chapter of, right, let's rebuild my life. Although I thought it was in the beginning.

It was more like, how do I get through a day without my system completely falling apart? And there was a phase I call the come down, that big decompression where everything slows right down.

No big goals, no productivity, just the body trying to trust that the emergency is over. And after that reset, you know, that's where the stage, that life slowly became quieter, safer and a bit more spacious, actually. It's not glamorous.

It was often boring, actually. And sometimes it felt like nothing was happening. But I understand now, quietly, a lot was happening. So my focus shifted from how much I can get done to how safe does my system feel today. And that's a big difference.

One of the biggest shifts in reset was this idea, energy before action. Because, you know, before burnout, I almost never asked, do I have the energy for this? I just pushed through.

So in reset, I started checking in, you know, differently. So what does low energy actually feel like in my body? And where does my energy drop during the day?

And, you know, what genuinely gives me a little bit back? And nothing changed overnight. You know, at first, I noticed how exhausted I was. But even that noticing was just a step, you know, slowly I began to spot tiny signals that my energy was returning.

You know, I'd wake up in the morning and I didn't feel like concrete. Or I'd take a walk and my breath just naturally dropped into my belly. You know, there would be an afternoon where I just didn't crash completely. And these, these aren't, these weren't achievements. They're just like signals.

You know, signals my system was very slowly finding its way back towards the neutral gear. Not because I pushed harder, but because I stopped pushing quite so hard. Another part of reset for me was what I now call micro-regulation, yeah.

So not big breath work sessions or long meditations, you know, just tiny moments where, you know, my body started to soften on its own. And things like realizing my shoulders had dropped making a cup of coffee or feeling my jaw unclench for a second on a walk. Or, you know, I'd stand by the window, I'd just notice my breath actually being a bit deeper.

It was always a very shallow breath. And so these moments didn't last long. But if you'd seen me from the outside, you probably wouldn't notice anything, right? But inside, this all mattered.

You know, they were little flashes of, you're safe enough to let go just a bit. I didn't force those moments, you know. I often showed up when I stopped multitasking and said no to something my body couldn't hold.

I protected my mornings and simply respected my limits for once. So my breath became like a mirror. When it stayed high and tight, something was off. And when it dropped and slowed, something in me felt safer.

And reset, I want to be honest, of course, the whole conversation about routines and habits wasn't really helpful for me at that stage. Routines, you know, they felt a bit rigid.

Too much like the world I was trying to recover from. Well, what did help me was this idea of rhythm. So what I think the difference is, you know, a routine asks for consistency.

A rhythm asks for presence. A routine would say, you know, do this every day or you failed. On the other hand, a rhythm says what feels supportive today. You know, one of the first rhythms I brought back was just a slower morning. So no rushing, no screens, just a cup of coffee, a chair. And a few minutes where I didn't have to perform.

And over time, I added like small anchors. So I would step outside for a couple of minutes, get that first glimpse of daylight. I'd pause between tasks instead of sprinting. And I'd eat a single meal without, you know, multitasking.

Even at the end of the day, a short moment, just for 30 seconds. None of this would impress anyone in a productivity workshop, right? But it supported my system. And that's the whole point.

Reset was also where I began to really understand boundaries. You know, it's not as something harsh, but essential for recovery. So before burnout, I thought I had an energy problem. But in recovery, I realized I had a boundary problem. And so internal boundaries just had to come first. So I'd stop when my body said stop.

I'd rest. I'd let myself rest while I'm calling it lazy. And I'd reduce this emotional labor I just didn't have capacity for. And of course, importantly, I'd notice when I was slipping into those old people-pleasing patterns. But then came the awkward bit. This is the hard part, right? External boundaries with people, with work, with commitments.

So it wasn't just dramatic, but it was just small shifts. You know, instead of replying immediately, I'd just leave it a bit later. I would say, sorry, I can't do this right now.

And I'd spend less time in those draining situations. Of course, I would choose fewer commitments instead of, you know, saying yes to everything. And that first time I said, I can't, well, the world didn't end, right? My system, it just seemed to let out a breath. You know, it's like it had been holding for years. And that's when I realized boundaries don't push people away. They bring you back to yourself.

So after a while in Reset, something new started to appear. Not a big breakthrough or a five-year plan. There was curiosity. So instead of, how do I get back to who I was?

The question was, who am I now? You know, how do I want to live my life from here? And that's where reInvent really started for me. I want to be clear about this. I mean, reInvent wasn't about building a whole new life overnight.

It's not about finding a big capital P purpose in a weekend. It's more like loosening the grip on the old definitions of success. Noticing what actually nourished me. And allowing myself to explore, you know, gently.

What else is actually possible? One of the hardest parts was letting go of the identity, you know, I'd built it around work. If I'm not, like, high-performing, the fixer, or always the available one, and who am I? Not really, who am I?

And so for a long time, I honestly didn't know. And there was a lot of grief in that, actually. Grief for the version of me who ran on adrenaline and approval.

But I didn't yet know what it would cost. But there was also opportunity in that, right? If that identity almost killed me, maybe it's not the one I want to rebuild, right?

You know, so in reInvent, I started asking, what does enough look like for me? What kind of work would support my system instead of, you know, attacking it again?

How do I want my days to feel? Not just what I want to achieve. And those are just a few of the questions, but they're a great question, right? And I didn't answer them all at once. Honestly, I'm still answering some of them.

One of the most useful things from Reset that came with me into reInvent was the idea of tiny experiments. Hence, this podcast, Explore. So instead of changing my whole life, it became more like, I'm going to test this one small thing and see what it feels like. It would be a slightly shorter workday or, you know, saying no to those extra tasks or just sharing parts of my story, what it feels like in safe context.

You know, some of those experiments are great. Some are definitely too much, too soon. So I was finding that balance. Some are also just pretty neutral. But every experiment gave me information. And that information helped me build a life that fit better with what I actually needed. Not just what the old fear-based version of me thought I should do.

I want to say something about this idea of finding your big purpose, right? Because I think it carries a lot of pressure that it doesn't need. For me, it didn't arrive here as a major grand mission or whatever.

It was more like honest clues, you know, about what fits. Things like wanting to speak honestly about burnout and lived experience and creating this space where people don't have to perform.

I wanted my work to fit inside my life and not the other way around. You know, honor my sensitivity instead of constantly finding it, right? Because that kind of clarity, for me, is not a job title or a personal brand. It's, I think it's quieter than that. More practical than the grand.

But this only became possible after reset. You know, after establishing that rest and rebuilding this internal safety. So if you're listening and you're thinking, I don't know what I want next.

I'm just trying to get through the day. Well, that's okay. And you're not behind. You know, the first stages really are recognize, then reset. Because awareness and stabilization have to come first.

And then reinvent. And whatever, you know, clarity means for you. This could come later. And definitely in its own time. So, I want to share a little bit about my life now.

You know, it's not like it's happily ever after. But more, it's a realistic picture of what living after burnout actually looks like. And I still have to manage my mental health. This is, this is ongoing. And I've accepted that.

I still have to watch my energy. I find myself still getting pulled towards old patterns sometimes. But the biggest difference is I notice it much earlier. Some of the things that support me, I definitely, I check in with my energy instead of ignoring it.

You know, my body feels like I'm sliding towards survival mode. And I treat that as information. As mentioned earlier, these simpler rhythms. You know, I try to keep mornings and evenings gentle where I can.

Definitely movement is important. Not the type that punishes me like I was marathon training. But just like walking and occasional running. Of course, I continue the professional support. So, I still see a therapist. It doesn't mean I've failed at recovery. It actually just means I understand that I'm human. And I can benefit from that support.

And lastly, I am definitely more honest about my limits. I'll just say I don't have capacity for that. Sometimes it's still uncomfortable. But it's definitely still worth it. You know, so I definitely view burnout now as not something that vanished. But it constantly needs my attention.

And it's going to definitely permanently, you know, change the way I need to live. So, some of the ways I try not to go back. A couple of examples.

I always keep an eye out for the familiar signals. You know, working late. Taking everything personally. Replaying conversations in my head. Feeling resentful. But still saying yes. So, I have to be careful about the environment I choose. You know, I can't always control everything. But I try not to put myself in the spaces where this overwork is glorified. And maybe humanity is an afterthought. I have to remember I can leave earlier now. And I don't have to stay until I break to justify that decision.

You know, burnout is very isolating for me. And that's another sign I'm going off course again. If I start to isolate, that's a big sign. So, I try to stay connected now.

I'm an introvert, right? Hard to believe, but I am. But I still try and stay in touch, you know, with people who see me as a human being. I'm not just a role.

So, authentic communication. Authentic connection. That's what I seek now. As I said earlier, I don't get this right all the time. But for me, it's definitely a different way of moving through the world than the old prove-yourself-at-all-costs version of me.

So, I want to speak directly to you for a moment if you're listening and you feel like you're somewhere on that burnout spectrum. You know, maybe you're edging towards it.

Maybe you're in the middle of it. Or maybe you've crashed and you're trying to work out what's next. Here's what I'll say. You're not simply as someone who's been there. You're not weak.

You're not broken. And you're not the only one who got here this way. Because burnout is often a system of doing its best to survive. You know, this lifetime of patterns, staying small, pleasing others, and chasing belonging. It's all finally catching up.

You know, environments and expectations were never designed for human limits. So, if you recognize yourself in any of that, here's a few gentle invitations. You know, just start with awareness, not action.

And notice what's actually happening. Check your energy and your thoughts and your body. Because that alone is powerful. Very important. Get support. Get it where you can. If that's your GP, a therapist, a psychiatrist, even a support group, or someone you trust. You don't have to hold this on your own.

And just let enough be smaller for a while. Your best right now might look very different to your best a few years ago. And that's okay. Remember that recovery is not a comeback tour. It's not about becoming your old self again. It's about discovering who you are now.

Underneath all of the survival strategies. If there's one thing I want you to take from my story, you don't have to earn your right to rest by completely falling apart first. You're allowed to listen to your system earlier than I did. Trust me, it's a lot less suffering.

If I had to sum up my journey in one statement, it's probably this. You can't outwork your wounds. I mean, no amount of productivity, achievement, or approval can actually heal what was originally shaped by how you learned to stay safe.

How you learned to be loved, and how you learned to cope with fear and pressure. Those things need awareness, compassion, and often support more than they need another 12-hour day.

Because once you understand, everything starts to shift. It's slow, but it's deep. For a lot of people, and I know this was true for me, you know, that pattern didn't start at work. It started much earlier.

You know, environments where you first learned what was expected of you, where belonging felt conditional, and where you learned to stay safe by being useful, capable, or invisible. Those early atmospheres, they don't announce themselves.

And they don't usually involve anyone being obviously unkind, right? They're much quieter than that. An unspoken standard, and a preference for how you showed up. And like a sense of certain parts of you were welcome, and others weren't. And that's not blame.

It's just true. And when you understand that, when you see the shape of it, you stop trying to outperform your way out. Because you start to understand what you're actually looking for isn't more achievement. It's something you deserve from the beginning. And that's what the courses, the community, and everything and where I'm at framework is built around. It's not fixing you. Helping you understand yourself.

And then giving you a trusted pathway forward. As we close this episode, we're also closing season one of Share, Inspire, Explore. You know, sharing my story in these three parts hasn't been easy. You know, it took months to put that in words.

And I want to be honest about that. This season finale is around three months later than I had planned. But the delay was its own thing. You know, the biggest procrastination of my life, I think.

Because telling your own story in public is different from anything else, honestly. Because you can't hide behind a guest or a framework. It's just you. Now, it's clear. I used scripts for these three episodes. I just want to name that. Because I'm still building confidence in my delivery.

But for the personal story episodes, the scripts weren't about, you know, not knowing what I wanted to say. They were about wanting to say it in a way that felt controlled enough to actually get it out.

There are parts that I haven't shared. They protect me and others. And so, it doesn't matter. What I've shared is just highlighting the patterns and the backstory behind it all.

There's something I've been sitting with through all of this. The way playing it small has shaped my life. You know, the sense that being fully visible carried a risk that wasn't worth taking. So, this podcast, very public. You know, this has been one of the things I've used to push through that. So, if you're someone who's always wondered what you might be capable of if you stopped holding back, that's for you.

I've been there. I'm still there in some ways. The thank you for your patience. Season two, it's coming with its own terms. You know, not in parallel with this close. So, I just wanted season one to have its proper ending first.

I'm very excited about season two. It's getting a new brand and everything. Stay tuned. Before I go, I want to thank the guests who gave their time and expertise to this season, individually, because each brought something very specific.

So, we had Dr. Ben Searle, an organizational psychologist who named the obstacles in burnout recovery that most people don't talk about, right? And he didn't give me the easy answers, but that's exactly what the conversation needed.

And Claudia Bayer, she helped me understand the real differences between therapy, coaching, and peer support. That distinction matters enormously for people trying to find the right kind of help at the right time.

And Alina Meiriyad, who brought the psychology of work addiction into the conversation. I wasn't sure anyone would want to hear, and they did. And that episode hit differently, actually, for a lot of people.

Martina Teufner, and she named the emotional reality of going back to work and why psychological safety during the reintegration, it's not a nice to have. It's the whole thing.

We had Janina Lainsberger-Desnicka, and she helped me understand how much shame and fear travel with the people as they try to rebuild and how identity shifts after burnout in the ways that workplaces, they rarely acknowledge. And we had Karin Kradischnig, who didn't flinch from the harder truth, you know, that toxic workplace dynamics don't fix themselves, and that HR, you know, they often hold more responsibility than it's willing to claim.

To each of you, thank you. You trusted the podcast when it's still finding its feet, and that really means something. And two more people I wanted to name. Sophia Wehringer, she worked with me on voice training and helped me amplify not just volume, but presence. So if this podcast sounds the way it does, partly because of that work.

And Elaine Kelly, a fellow podcaster and human design business coach, Elaine was the trigger in the best sense of that word, finally got me going. Elaine helped me, you know, move past the mental blocks that I've been sitting on this for too long. And so I hope to bring Elaine and many other guests on one day to talk about that properly. One thing I'm actively looking for as season two develops, I'd like to bring a psychiatrist into the conversation on the podcast. So if you're a psychiatrist based in Vienna or internationally, and what I'm building here resonates with you, I'd genuinely like to hear from you. So I want to say something about what where I'm at actually is, because I don't think I've named it quite clearly enough.

So the Recognize and Reset courses are available now within the community, and they follow directly what I've shared across these three story episodes, but in more depth and with the resources I actually used through each phase. So not a recommended reading list, just the things that genuinely helped me.

Reinvent is coming. The Work course, that's the big one for me because, you know, rebuilding your relationship with work after burnout, it's not just a mindset shift, right? It's practical, definitely layered, and most people have to work it out on their own. So that's what Reinvent is here to address.

The community is open. It's for people who are navigating this, and for people who've been through it and want to contribute, because the most trusted support comes from lived experience combined with real expertise.

There's no single coach fits all. There's no single pathway, right? But where I'm at is building. It's an ecosystem that definitely reflects that. It's a private space. You can be as anonymous as you wish, or public as you wish.

It's a trusted pathway, you know, built by me. As someone who's lived it, wherever you are right now, descending, breaking, resetting, or slowly reinventing, your experience is valid. You don't have to rush it.

Start where you are. Thank you for Season 1. I'm Chris. This is Share, Inspire, Explore. I'll see you in Season 2. That's it for today on the Share, Inspire and Explore podcast.

I hope something resonated with you. A moment of clarity, encouragement, but just a reminder that you're not alone. If you find this helpful, share it with someone who might need it. Hit follow or subscribe to join us for future episodes.

If you're new here, please check the link in the description to join the community. Burnout is tough, but it's also a chance to heal and rediscover what matters. Thanks for being a part of this journey. And until next time, take care. Keep exploring what's possible.

I'm Chris Wilson, and that's where I'm at. I'm Chris Wilson, and I'll see you next time.